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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765855">By Your Side</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth'>icandrawamoth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>February Ficlet Challenge 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Alphabet Squadron Series - Alexander Freed, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, February Ficlet Challenge, February Ficlet Challenge 2020, Gen, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Past Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>Español</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:27:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,146</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wyl blinks sleep from his eyes and tries to translate, but he's not far enough in his studies of Binary to get more than a word or two. Anyway, if it's BD-1, there's really only one possibility.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cal Kestis &amp; Wyl Lark, past Cal Kestis/Original Male Character/Original Male Character, pre Cal Kestis/Wyl Lark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>February Ficlet Challenge 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624723</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>February Ficlet Challenge 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>By Your Side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21801103">This Is the End</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth">icandrawamoth</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For February Ficlet Challenge prompt "today’s couple ships another couple on your list." Uses the same OCs from This Is the End.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wyl is awakened by a series of beeps, and it takes a few moments for his fuzzy brain to realize what's happening. BD-1 is beside his bed, hopping anxiously from foot to foot and tootling at him. Wyl blinks sleep from his eyes and tries to translate, but he's not far enough in his studies of Binary to get more than a word or two. Anyway, if it's BD-1, there's really only one possibility.</p><p>"Take me to him," Wyl says, throwing back his covers.</p><p>BD-1 immediately scrambles from the room, and Wyl follows, unsurprised to find himself in Cal's quarters. The Jedi is sitting up in his bed, arms wrapped around knees drawn up to his chest, face pressed into them, shoulders shaking in the dim light.</p><p>BD-1 lets out a worried whine, nudging Wyl towards him, but he's already going.</p><p>"Cal," Wyl says softly, hesitating at the edge of the bed.</p><p>Cal peeks up, and there are tears in his eyes, wetness staining his cheeks. It makes Wyl's heart lurch.</p><p>"A nightmare?" Wyl asks, keeping his tone gentle.</p><p>Cal nods wordlessly, one hand coming up to wipe away tears - doing a better job of simply smearing them around his face. "I told BD he didn't need to bother you," he says, voice cracking with emotion.</p><p>"I don't mind. I want to be here for you." Wyl gestures to the bed. "Can I sit?"</p><p>Cal nods again, scooting over a bit to make more room. Wyl sits. He quashes the urge to hug Cal, knowing the Jedi still isn't used to such casual contact and it might just upset him more.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>Cal chews his lip, staring into the middle distance for long moments. "I don't think it will help. Talking can't change the past."</p><p>"No," Wyl agrees, "but if you want to, it can help you deal with your emotions connected to it. I'll admit I'm not always the best at trying it, so this might be a little hypocritical, but it tends to work when I do."</p><p>Cal is silent for long moments. Wyl starts to think he won't take him up on it - and he's not going to judge him. There's a lot Cal hasn't shared with him, and it's his prerogative to open up when he's comfortable, not when Wyl wants him to.</p><p>But then, Cal speaks, quiet and unsteady. "I wasn't always alone on Bracca. I - I was in a relationship with two other boys. Fen and Natolo." The names are spoken with an emotional mix of fondness and sorrow, and Wyl already aches, knowing if this story is tied to Cal's nightmare, it can't possibly end well.</p><p>"I loved them," Cal goes on. "It took a long time to admit it, to let myself, after being a Jedi, but I did. I shared everything with them - except the truth about my past. I couldn't put them in danger. But I did anyway. If I'd just-" His face threatens to crumple, but he manages to hold on. Again, Wyl keeps himself from touching him, offering comfort the way he would want it.</p><p>"When I revealed myself and called the Inquisitors down, Natolo stepped between me and the Seventh Sister. He -" His lip quivers, and a tear streaks down his cheek. "She killed him, right there, as Fen and I watched. There was nothing we could do. Well, nothing Fen could do. That was when I pulled my saber, but it was too late. I'd been frozen, and he was gone. My fault.</p><p>"No, Wyl, don't interrupt, let me." Cal takes a shaky breath. "Fen escaped with me. We had to leave his body. There was no way- And we tried to make it work still. Fen and me. I wanted - but it wasn't just about what I wanted. He could never forgive me for what happened to Natolo. Just like I couldn't forgive myself. Can't. Fen left. Left the Mantis, left me. I don't blame him.</p><p>"That was the nightmare," he finishes, voice so quiet in the dark room. "Just him leaving and those words he said. True ones. 'I can't even look at you.'" Cal sniffles, wiping away tears again.</p><p>Wyl wishes he could take this pain away. He's never lost a lover before, not to death, certainly not like this, and he can't imagine how much it hurts, how much it hurts Cal on top of everything else he's been through. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Thank you." Cal still won't meet his eyes, concentrating instead on trying to dry his face again, shaky fingers wiping away tear after tear.</p><p>"I know I wasn't there," Wyl says gently, unsure suddenly whether he's overstepping. "But I know you didn't want any of that happen. I know you never would have wanted people you loved to be hurt on your behalf. You say you froze - you can't help that. It was a terrible situation. And even if you understand why Fen couldn't deal with what happened and why he had to leave, that doesn't mean you're not allowed to hurt."</p><p>Cal lets out a rough breath. "I know you're right. I just...feeling it is different. I still miss them. It hasn't been that long for me. Fen, wherever he is out there now, it's been years. He's had time to move on."</p><p>"You haven't," Wyl reiterates. "You just said it yourself. It's all right to hurt. Is there anything I can do to help?"</p><p>"I don't know," Cal sighs. Finally, he looks over. Most of the tears are gone now, and he just looks exhausted, normally bright hazel eyes dimmed. "I'm tired."</p><p>"Lie back down then," Wyl urges gently. "I can stay if you want. Wake you up if you start dreaming again."</p><p>"You don't have to do that. I know you need to sleep too."</p><p>Wyl gives him a smile. "Seems like I've already gotten more than you. And there's nothing on the docket for tomorrow. I'll be fine. If you're comfortable with it."</p><p>Cal watches him for another moment, then slowly nods. "I do feel better when you're with me," he admits, so quietly Wyl isn't sure he was even supposed to hear.</p><p>"Lie down then. I'll be here." Wyl finds the desk chair, drags it over and lowers himself into it. "Rest, Cal. I'm glad you had people there for you while they could be. And I'm here now; I promise. I'm not going anywhere.”</p><p>A tiny, tiny smile lights Cal's face. BD-1 hops onto the bed with him as he lays down, and Cal puts an arm around him as they snuggle up, murmuring something Wyl cant quite hear. If he had to guess, Cal is thanking the droid for fetching Wyl.</p><p>Wyl smiles warmly as he watches them, feeling himself relax as Cal lets go of his tension and sinks into sleep.</p>
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